Meeting people is hard. But, dating in today’s world can be harder!
But I get this question all the time,
where did you meet Steven?!
Now honestly, this wasn’t a military operation – it really wasn’t that serious. After all, I had only been single for about 6 months prior to meeting Steven and dating was not on my mind either. But, I think what really lead me to that moment was my mindset.
During the 6 months prior to Steven, I was doing everything I wanted to do. I wanted to go to the gym and look ripped and I did that for myself, I wanted to go to a party with some friends and let loose (without anyone being ashamed by association), I did that for myself. Shit, sometimes I went to the beach by myself, for myself – because I wanted too!
FYI: the beach thing was huge because I’m not a huge fan of the beach so when I go it’s a huge deal and when I go by myself, that’s an even bigger deal!
So here’s my advice:
1. Don’t Actively Start Dating Because I Said So – let’s get this right first off. Don’t do things just because you think you’ll meet your future spouse, do it because you want to. When you do things that you genuinely have an interest in, it’s easier to break the ice or relate to another person.
2. Go To The Gym – the gym is one of those places where you can be yourself. You don’t have to wear makeup or the hottest outfit. You just need to get up and go. Guys are also really nice at the gym. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed any guy watching a female struggle to lift a 20lbs dumbbell – they always actively try to lend a helping hand because it’s usually a guy’s default to help out a damsel in distress.
3. Go To A Party – this is where I met Steven! In Barbados, there are a fair bit of parties and because the island is small, you think you would have already met everyone that you would have had some sort of an interest in, right? Still, that was the first time meeting Steven, so it’s fair to say, there are plenty fish in the sea if you actually get up and go to the sea (or to the party in this case).
4. Go To School/College/University – this is another good opportunity for you to meet your future spouse. Haven’t you seen the plenty stories about high school sweethearts? It’s because they went to school! How simple is that?! And if you don’t meet that person at school, or college or university, try joining a social group. If you’re out of school, try a class that you’ve always wanted to do like cooking, painting, anything! That narrows it down to someone who has the same interests as you.
5. Ask A Friend – don’t just ask any ol’ friend, ask a friend who knows you and knows what’s good for you. After all, it’s usually your friends who come through with the win because sometimes they know you better than you know yourself!
6. Be Bold – sometimes you just have to rip the band-aid off – yourself. In this day and age, you don’t have to wait for your potential to approach you. Grow some balls and approach them!
7. Solo Travel – now this is just not my speed but I’ve seen it happen. It’s like the universe brings together two completely different people from two different sides of the world, yet, their passion for travel is the precursor for something beautiful! So if you ever wanted to travel but didn’t have the courage to go alone, do it, you never know what might happen.
In the end, if you really want to meet someone, you need to get out and about. Don’t stay at home and moan about not meeting anyone, don’t work 9am-9pm jobs hoping that prince charming will come to you because prince charming is also pretty busy living his life so you may have to meet him halfway!